CHOIR PRACTICE

I went to choir practice for the first time in two years last night.

(For those of you who do not know this, I managed to bend my vocal cords by not breathing properly, and speaking using my throat muscles rather than my diaphragm. At the time I was under so much stress, and dealing with grief over my grandfather's death, that I was breathing really shallow for months. I had a sore throat all the time, and I could barely speak, let alone sing--I sounded as if someone was strangling me while I tried to talk.)

So, choir practice.

I am a first soprano (meaning I sing the highest of the high notes), but I have had no formal training. As a kid my parents could afford only one extra curricular activity and I chose art. Therefore, I know nothing about technique and I cannot read music; I can follow rhythmically, but I have no idea how high or low a specific note sounds.

Last night, everything was going well. As we were warming up with some vocal exercises, I concentrated hard on breathing with my diaphragm, and not using my throat muscles at all. However, as more time passed I realised that last night I was going to be one of only two sopranos present, and the ONLY first soprano.

I was terrified.

I am in a choir for a reason. I sing by memorising the melody of other singers. I need a trained soprano to pick out the tone, and then I latch on to it like a leech and follow along. I do not have the confidence to be a soloist, especially after not singing for two years, and as I already mentioned I cannot read music, but last night I had to do both!

I couldn't concentrate on breathing, and I was so nervous that my breathing became automatically shallow. I tried to pretend that I was alone practicing, and sometimes I managed, but I could feel my throat muscles constricting more often than not. It also did not help matters that the soprano bit for the music we were singing was opera singer high. Most of the notes were in the second octave from the middle C (the middle of the piano), and several times I had to sing G5. Trust me that is high for sustained singing. Even "Think of Me" does not have that note in the song, Christine only goes higher at the very end, but that is vocalised, without a lyric, which is easier.
(Note: Sarah Brightman I think sang G6 when she performed in Toronto.)

My fellow soprano did not even bother to sing the highest notes, so I had my solo there and I think I sounded too much like a train whistle, since my fear was choking me.

Conclusion: I have to get some training.

I will look into finding myself a coach, as soon as my work load is easier. Until then, hopefully I can do something with the CD exercises I picked up a few years ago.

Now, I'm off for a walk, since I'm sick of being shut indoors.

Later!

M